Top Five places to have a dump in Funchal

Funchal – capital of Madeira – offers a wide range of facilities for visitors many of which are mature UK holiday makers for whom quick and easy access to good quality public conveniences is very important.

Here is a hand picked personal selection of well rated loos in the town of Funchal – all free, clean and central.

Essential Guide to Public toilets in Funchal:

  1. Blandys Wine Lodge – discover this place and treat yourself to an hours tour followed by an excellent value for money wine tasting.  The loos are within access from a cobbled lane within the Visitor Centre but open for all for a top stop for daytime doings.
  2. Funchal Market – this delightful old building is crammed with vibrant colours of the flower, fruit and veg stalls is set on two floors.  Visiting the surprisingly modern bogs upstairs gives an opportunity to peer down at the fresh fish market below.
  3. Café Teatro (next to Municipal Theatre) Cool joint but scary stainless steel surroundings – great for a late night stop off.
  4. Madeira Story Centre – short distance from the Cable Car station – the cafe adjoining the multimedia interactive Madeira Story Centre has small but stylish loos. It was noted that you could make a rear entry into the Centre and avoid admission charges to the exhibition.
  5. Funchal Casino – this ghastly building which is remarkable in that it looks a lot smaller from the inside is ideal for urgent stops on the way back to the ‘hotel zone’ in the west of town.  No admission or membership required.  NB Top Tip – If you don’t understand Portuguese DON’T try to play the video poker machines.  It will help sooth the pain if my experience of a watching a 10 Euro note get munched up for a single play helps prevent others from spending a lot more than a penny.

By the smell of many roads and doorways being caught short for a wee is not a problem in Funchal however when it comes to a more serious Number Twos and big jobs then you might want to seek out privacy, comfort and cleanliness

Seasonal Special – During Funchal’s New Year celebration one of the world’s biggest firework displays fills the whole bay.  During the distraction of son et lumiere you can drop em anywhere without any liklihood of discovery.