The changing ways of beer promotion

Not so long ago the breweries were happy to provide all manner of paraphernalia in order top spread their beers brands.

At opening time bars would covered in beer mats that steadily disappeared during the evening.  Some of these beer mats went into painstakingly assembled collections - most ended up on top of a blob of blu tak fixed to  studen’s walls.

The other great promotional material for beer was bar towels - again collected by a few and then more popularly stitched to jackets and shirts for an individual look.  Health & Safety issues have seen the demise of beer towels but you can still were your pint with pride.

Beer T Shirts

Breweries are now opening online shops that sell branded caps, t-shirts and gifts.  A recent favourite beer to accompany my pasty (not least for the fantastic offers and promotions over the past month) HobGoblin offer a wide range of “the Goblin” logo Tee shirts from the Wychwood Brewery.

Coincidently Hobgoblin has attracted the pasty Muncher’s attention previously when the shelf edge price labels came under scrutiny on supermarket swindles

Beer Tees - Duff T-Shirts

Rather than hand over money to promote something that really I should be paid to wear my choice would have to be a T-Shirt sporting DUFF BEER.  These Duff t-shirts available from Beer Tees specialist www.wearyourbeer.com are available in the  for under $18 there’s a whole range of beer tee shirts and they ship to the UK (note airmail charges will apply) and would make fabulous christmas gifts for real men who like their beer.

Mmmmmmmmm—- Beer

Pardon me

During the summer of ‘84 Tetley (not the Tea people) ran a beer promotion during the summer holidays that I am proud to have taken part in - the Great Tetley Pub Hunt.

The Tetley Pub Hunt

Not so much of a hunt more a brewery influenced pub crawl - getting your card stamped by the bar each time you ordered a pint of Tetley Bitter. Gallon hats on I am a little ashamed to report the hunt took place over two nights - we were dole scrounging stoodents - skint. The final pint down and the card was fully stamped and we had our passport to a free beer t-shirt. I still have the Tee Shirt today much to the dismay of my mates. I model it here and either the shirt has shrunk in the hundreds of washes or I’ve put on a pound or two.

Every cloud has a silver lining - this time a curious twist of fate will hopefully see a positive outcome from the current financial problems -see where has all the money gone?

It is expected that a slowdown of global economies will be mirrored by a lowering of carbon emissions and a slowing of global warming.

Not only will the tightening of family finances result in them being more careful with the purse strings when it comes to food and fuel bills but finally the inefficiencies of large SUV’s is being realised.  Indeed it isn’t just the fuel thirsty 4×4’s that are suffering but the sale of new cars has almost come to a standstill during the credit crunch.

Land Rover have ended their 60th anniversary year with the temporary suspension of Freelander production.  It is hoped that the new cleaner and greener Freelander will come onto the production line early next year.  Bad news for Land Rover staff but good news for the owners of My Freelander - http://www.myfreelander.co.uk/ a site designed to help owners trouble shoot and fix their vehicles.

Reports in the press reveal that many car manufacturers will have a prolonged shut down over the Christmas period - a decision to protect jobs for the short term - however there is no guarantee that the new car market will pick up any time soon and the threat of redundancy hangs over the jobs of many.

Credit Crunch Comeuppance for crap service

Losing a job is a terrible experience.  Being cast aside, removed from your normal work with no argument or reasoning just being told your out: “You’ve got nothing for us” and “We’ve got nothing for you”is an

Not all job losses deserve our pity

BT made headline news when it gave details of 10,000 job losses but each and everyone of us has had run ins with the bloody minded attitude of the engineers, sales and accounts staff.

Rather than focus on providing a cheap high quality phone system BT try to compete in every up and coming market. Failing to see that they have missed the boat they squander their marketing budgets on adverts for crap broadband and second rate TV packages.

Money Makes the World Go Round

RBS announced job losses primarily from their global banking offices that deal in the mysterious world of fx trading and straight though processing. Large corporations and even entire countries are looking to improve their corporate treasury systems and bring their finances into order.

No high street Jobs are at risk for RBS branches however some would argue a strong case group that staff at some Nat West branches should be reviewed.

Finally one more good thing to come out of the credit crunch - Selfridge’s have launched a bag of sweets called - credit crunch - Munchtastic!

Halloween - the day of the long awaited office move….

Having endured the nuisance of packing up a few bits and bobs the previous day and unplugging various cables and computer bits whilst suffering the allergic reaction to the dust disturbed after many months of dodging the cleaner’s tools the office move was on course for  Halloween - Friday 31st October. Pickfords, the removal company selected for this important task, had left instruction about packing and labelling the cases to facilitate an efficient office move which was assumed to be done during the evening in order for crates and equipment to be in position the next day for connection and continuing work - however this was not the case.

Removal Company Arrives Late

The day begins with the surprising realisation that not only had nothing been moved since close of business the previous day but the Pickfords “Crap Removal” team turned up sometime after 9am - over an hour late.

Close inspection of the Pickfords removal van failed to reveal a new strap line -  “Why arrive early when you can still get paid for a crap removal job by turning up when you feel like it?”

Crap removal company Pickfords were amongst several removal companies who have been assisted to stop them from going under during the current housing downturn.

You’d have thought that some degree of pride in the service they provide would be in order instead of the classic British workman attitude.The office manager was sure that every effort would be made to “crack on” and get the new office up and running as quickly as possible. How very wrong…

Slowly Slowly that’s the Pickfords Removal Way

Unaware they were in earshot, following a request that they prioritise certain items for immediate and urgent removal one of the Pickfords gang was observed shaking his head and telling his team “That’s not how it works,  she’ll have to learn…” followed by the mob agreeing and trying to out do each other with promises of just how awkward they could be.

First in the door was the Boardroom table and chairs, Plastic plants, framed pictures, stationery supplies, nine water bottle refills but no water cooler.  Clearly this removal company were “on side” as they watched all the staff standing around desks with no chairs or computers to sit and work at.

Following a full hour for lunch the Pickfords team re-appeared and the first glimpse of essential equipment was seen.  We’re still unsure if the sight of a pc unit and two monitors precariously balance on an office chair being wheeled across the space was a hilarious wind up to reinforce the gaffers exclamation that they were “fully trained professionals” and knew what they were doing.  Someone remembered the instructions we received that computers should be left on the desk for proper specialist packing and transportation during removal.

It seems they fair just as badly in domestic home moves although it is possible that the favourable reviews of Pickfords removals “it took three men to remove my drawers” are actually contributed by

In conclusion it was agreed that the whole exercise was a shoddy job.  heaven knows what the cost was - the office manager keeps such things close to the chest - and it would ahve been illuminating to see the responses on Pickfords customer feed back questionnaire - which had conveniently been deleted…
In my opinion - Pickfords failed to impress and deserve the award of CRAP REMOVAL COMPANY.

Farting is good for you!

Until now the saying “farting is a great delight - it warms the bed on a frosty night” - was a lone voice is the benefits of farting have been limited to

Not only is farting funny but now latest research indicates that the more noxious the guff the lower your blood pressure is likely to be - see farts lower blood pressure.

Finally affirmation of the classic headstone rhyme:- 

Let the wind free where’er you may be

for ’twas the wind that killeth me

and concludes….

church or chapel

let it rattle

Make the most of farting - raise money!

Sponsored Farting

This year there will be a Sponsored Fart during which master blasters will see who can be “Top Trumps” whilst trying to raise money for patch-eyed Pudsey and BBC Children in Need.

What makes you Fart?

Without going into too much science - you can get a full blow down here - What makes us fart? we have selected our fart fodder of choice that meets both seasonal and environmental guidelines.

This year most crops in the garden have suffered due to lack of warmth and sunshine along with lots of rain.  One of the easiest things to grow is Jerusalem artichokes - a relative of the sunflower it towers until late into October/November and its earthy roots are ready for harvest just when you need them most- for wholesome hearty autumn fart fodder.

Rest assured - the Pasty Muncher will be farting with the best of ‘em.

Now don’t get me wrong - I love my job (ahem the Managing Director just breezed past whilst the header Is Work Killing Me? was in full view on screen) - but I can’t help passing comment on the down hill path the company in its attitude to serendipity and health has taken in recent times.

Fun and Games to Keep Fit

A policy to allow video games has always been in place.  Originally my colleagues clamoured to take the play station controls to test their nerve and skill fiddling around on pointless platform games then last Christmas great excitement as someone managed to pre-order and successfully buy a Nintendo Wii.  The bundle came with a variety of wii games and soon the wii playing became a very time consuming occupation - I still don’t see it on our timesheet system.

For someone who reflects back on Space Invaders  as being the ultimate video game the sight of seeing four grown men sat in a darkened room holding teeny weeny steering wheels acting out the movements of driving Mario Kart or a Land Rover Sport Freelander in one of the many Nintendo Wii driving games was very surprising.

Wii Fit Fever

Now the latest craze is hopping about trying to keep up with the moves on the Wii Wii Fit game.  reports that playing wii fit actually does increase fitness and improve health are widespread - even authority healthcare sites view wii fit as a favourable pastime see this Your BP post about the positive health benefits by lowering blood pressure playing wii games.

Healthy Food Fresh Fruit for All

Along with the exceptionally good coffee (which i am pleased to report remains) fresh fruit was freely available in the kitchen - supplied by a local greengrocer who selected local seasonal products (apples a plenty)  whenever possible and ensured that the fruit was at least half ripe - unlike the rock-hard efforts that the cost cutting supermarket which usurped him supplied.

Now the fruit bowl remains on the counter - its once gleeming shine populated with bananas, kiwis, pears and seasonal citrus fruit - now a sorry dusty coat.

Now in an attempt to return to the bygone generous day we have Bacon Butty Friday and sadly even though the maths dont add up there is no fruit alternative.

One of my first UK jobs involved mixing with the trailer trash of Crawley in and industrial estate serving Gatwick Airport.  I was horrified at the windowless, airless, badly lit office with low ceiling and dreary staff.  It occured to me that the state of the workplace conditions must have a marked effect on worker’s health,  so with this in mind perhaps I should be more grateful for my place of work - it still has great coffee and is close to some of the best pasties in the world!

Banks are CRAP

Here’s my experience of a crap bank - Nat West - feel free to share yours - add your twopennyworth to the comments at the end.

It takes little to please me - give me a fresh-from-the-oven Pasty at lunchtime with flaked pastry and proper filling served quickly and politely and that’s me happy well in to the afternoon.  What I don’t want to spend my lunchtime doing is standing in a twenty deep queue waiting to be served by one of three cashiers at NatWest only to find that when my turn eventually comes around they are unable to process an electronic money transfer to an RBS (same group of bankers) and tell me to join another long queue for the “information” team who should be able to fulfil my request but for a fee!

Now I wouldn’t want to promote the theory I always view things from a negative aspect - yes I have written at length about crap jobs and am want to highlight crap supermarket price offers but my recent experiences with Crap Bank NatWest forces me to once again wag a finger.

Natwest Lose Cheques - Sure Sign of a Crap Bank

Earlier this year I had the good fortuned to receive a cheque payable in US dollars from the small online store Amazon.  It has continually been a frustration that all UK banks charge an extortionate fee to process these foreign currency cheques claiming they are risking the liability of the cheque not being honoured once sent back to the States for clearance - highly possible with fly by night set online setups such as Amazon.  NatWest somehow manage not to notice the huge written message to emphasise the $ sign and my statement revealed the the sterling value had been credited instead of the exchange rate.  Two daysl later the transaction was reversed but there was no sign of the correct value entering my statement.  Phone calls were dealt with by empty promises of “we’ll call you back”and for the first time I had to endure the Natwest Branch Queue - a chilling experience to be surrounded by posters and displays offering a variety of credit cards including a new product that beggars belief 0% credit cards (check the small print) and mesmerising deals to encourage balance transfers.  To cut this rambling tale to the chase natwest lost the cheque and although they obviously acknowledge possession of it were unable to make good their failings leaving me to request a copy cheque

Crap Bank - NatWest

At the beginning of this post you will have read about the unacceptable length of queues at NatWest bank and the woeful short staffing only serving to make the whole high street bank experience worse.  “There is another way” Sure - close your NatWest Account.

If only I had gone to the branch armed with the following news articles that announced the implementation of fast (same day) cash transfers between banks http://news.icm.ac.uk/business/faster-bank-transfers-start-today/482/ and http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7417303.stm

As I was less than impressed that  I was expected to rejoin another long queue and then be expected to pay a fee for an electronic transfer I protested and to give credit where its due the young fellow behind the counter did offer “Another Way” - “Err you can withdraw the cash here from me then wander over to RBS and pay it in” which is precisely what I did.

Perhaps these are small contributions to the bigger picture of banking chaos - the crap banks have had it good for a long time - getting away with daylight robbery and lining their pockets.

Each year two very important events are held in September.  These  events are circled in the Muncher’s Diary months in advance. 

The first is Blood Pressure Testing Week- a healthcare awareness event that encourages everyone in the UK to be more familiar with their blood pressure readings by offering free blood pressure checks around at thousands of venues.  Using the latest automatic blood pressure monitors - Omron M10 IT, qualified volunteers measure and record blood pressure readings.

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Amongst the many important National Days to remember is Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Pirate fans and organisations around the world hope to elevate this special day to be a prominent global day celebrating all who have ever been involved in the ‘Sweet Trade’

In the South West an ongoing campaign to have National Talk like a Pirate Day become a Bank Holiday is being fought but the Lily-livered landlubbers in Westminster traditionally have taken a dim view of Gentlemen o’fortune.

UK site Yarr.org.uk offers a waelth of resources for those keen to get invloved. The National Pirate Day Events is a new area to encourage more pirate speaking up and down the county andnew events can be submitted to CpnTom @ Yarr.org.uk

This site although only updated occasionally has gone as far as adding a wiki affair to expand the range of pirate vocabulary and installed a helpful “pirate translation tool” - note I was going to try to lift the code however that would be WRONG.

Here’s what returned for

“don’t be nasty, share a pasty”

Ahoy, don’t be nasty share a pasty Ye’ll ne’er get me buried booty!  ARRR Proper Pirate Talk that be.

The National Talk like a Pirate Day is 19th September this and every year.  Top tip - If it be helpin’, start yer sentence wi’ a “Arr, me hearty,” in a deep, throaty voice — ye’ll find that the rest be comin’ much easier.

Many students will be leaving home for the first time and will suddenly begin to realise the true cost of living.  Even though Student Unions up and down the country try hard to shelter the newcomers from the true price of beer there will come a time when the blue and brown beer vouchers are thin on the ground.

For less than thirty pounds you can buy a complete Home-brew kit - tomorrows professional drinkers need to be able to reflect back on the good old days when they brewed pints for less than 40p but failed to heed the manufacturers advice of storing for two weeks after bottling/barrelling resulting in getting an upset tummy.

Students coming to the South West will find very few home brew specialist shops - Exeter Students can stock up at Quayside homebrew a curious shop which stocks a good range of beer kits, equipment and ingredients for homebrew enthusiasts and newcomers to the sport.

I’d like to mention my personal favourite but was horrified to find that Merv and Hazel at the homebrew centre have retired. Cheers!!

For a medical student or anyone beginning a medical training course a stethoscope is a must. I believe that some medical schools have a list of recommended stethoscopes for medical studeents so beware if buying one as a gift - it may not be approved by the medical school.  The Littman cardiology III stethoscope is almost certainly on the list of any Medical School and although it is higher in price than many other Littmann stethoscopes you can be sure it will be a high quality tool for the job.

A colleague just mentioned “pens” but I suspect this generation of students would prefer a groovy portable pc,  notebook or laptop computer. And what a choice there now is - even adding colour options (at a price) to “reflect your style”.  The only way forward would be to take the views of real customers and a selection of blog posts help identify things to look for, avoid and recommended shops to buy from.The laptop rural family living blog suggest Toshiba Laptops which although far from the cheapest laptop offers a good range of entry level and professional machines.  On the other side of the coin our chum at Extreme Power laptops cites laptops as the topic of his latest post although it is not especially helpfull.

For 2nd 3rd year returning students  who have overspent and already living a life and funding studies with credit cards - a 0% credit card (on balance transfers) to help ease the repayments before they find gainful employment (or crap jobs) after college.

Alternatively you could just stuff  a wad of notes in a brown envelope and let them decide.

If only there was a pasty gift voucher - Munch on and best wishes to all new students.

Not the first time a roving pasty muncher has picked up on stupid price promotion - see Supermarket Swizz - No Deal where our wandering eye spotted Tesco taking the little in  every little helps to the minimum of price cuts - a penny off a litre of whiskey and Sainsbury’s shelf edges announcing that the promotion price of a pack of Hobgoblin Ale was exactly the same as before - no change.

Somerfield have now taken a step futher in a bizarre ploy to confuse bargain hunters even more.  Possibly working on the premiss that if a price is enlarged on a shelf edge label then shoppers will assume it to be a bargain.  All Bottled Ales Priced at £1.69 (various sizes) now
£1.72.

Either the marketing people had done no research in the effect of adding 3p to the existing price or considered the 69 to be a bit of a mouthful.

Stethoscope Swizz

Its not just in supermarkets and on the high street buyers need beware - online retailers too can bowl the odd googly.

This panel form an online medical supply website was found during the peak season for stethoscope sales to the fresh intake of medicl school students somefound this disappointment when Discount Nurses announced their sale on leading models of stethoscopes.  One aspiring Doctor said “I’d read that Littmann Stethoscopes were amongst the best stethoscopes for medical professionals - what I wasn’t expecting was to see the prices increase before my very eye”

After further searching the same stethoscope was found on Amazon.com a little cheaper.  In the UK Amazon only appears stock stethoscope

Sometimes it all goes wrong

Who can’t forget the online giant Amazon closing its operations when it was notified that it was selling hand held Asus eee pcs for a fraction of the correct price £7.32 instead of £197!

The Red Cross will use half the Defenders around the world to distribute supplies and rescue teams to disaster zones where floods and earthquakes make transport difficult ideal for the off road capabilities of Land Rover.

The remaining Land Rovers will be remain in Britain. Some vehicles will be modified and be fitted with emergency vehicle equipment - medical supplies including donated heart defibrillators, blood pressure monitors, resuscitation equipment and first aid kits to become ambulance response models.

The vehicles were handed over during a garden party at Buckingham Palace where 7,500 Red Cross members were joined by members of the Royal Family.

It was noted that Royal British totty, Zara was missing from the ceremony which surprised the Land Rover representatives as she had not only featured in their viral video campaign but has a history of association with the brand - during the launch of Freelander 2 she joined top tennis totty and land rover driver, Maria Sharapova featuring in the 2002 campaign.

Maria said: “I drive a Land Rover at my home in the USA. Since I was 15 and first saw Land Rovers in the US I have admired their unique design and British-ness. I currently have Range Rovers, but am a big fan of the new Freelander 2.

Gorgeous Maria also stole the limelight from British totty when she attended Land Rover 60th Anniversay celebrations in California - photos here.