It’s a big-ticket buy – so follow the Muncher’s guide for selecting the best of the latest batch of sofas, whether you want cosy comfort or sleek style.

Shopping for sofas isn’t ever going to be a cheap date. If you’re setting up student digs or are a first-time homeowner and thought the worst was over, with the deposit paid and the mortgage arranged, the price of sofas will make you gasp. Of the fridge/telly/sofa holy trinity of true household necessities, the sofa is the one with fewest budget options.

There are two schools of thought on pattern, and which you fall into depends on whether you see your sofa as an accessory (in which case it can be a striking accent colour/pattern) or a basic in your scheme (neutral). During a period of interiors upheaval — divorce decorating, single-to-couple segue, midlife makeover — it’s perfectly natural to switch from one to the other.

European Styles

The trend for modular compositions seating a dozen seems to be on the wane, except among the stylish Italian and French brands. The two key looks are slimline, pared-back sofas and more bulky, comfy traditional examples. Again, there are no rules. A traditional velvet-upholstered chesterfield can look fabulous in a minimalist setting, and a fierce couture piece may be perfect surrounded by antiques.

Put your mind to it and you can just about find a decent couch for less than £500: Ikea has relaunched the Klippan two-seater, in a funky floral fabric, for £169; John Lewis offers the pretty teal Portia for £450; and Muji’s pale grey modular sofa starts at £325. But, of the pieces you’d give house room to, that’s about it.

If, on the other hand, your budget hovers at the £1,000 mark, this autumn sees some great designs within your grasp. Among my favourites are streamlined sofas such as Habitat’s Ella, a sleek two-seater that comes in three three-tone colourways: black, grey and ecru (£1,100);. Designers Guild has launched the adorable slimline Julep bench sofa (£995), ideal for narrow spaces, bedrooms and hallways. Living Room furniture specialist Furniture Choice offer an extensive range of leather sofas including The New York Vintage, shown here in mocha leather, has been hand crafted in Italy using pure, uncorrected aniline hides.

If your taste is for the big and squashy sector of the sofa market, you’ll love some of the more traditional offerings from sofa.com, such as the two-seater Hurston (£780). Or treat yourself to something unique — one of Amber Heptinstall’s vintage sofas, reupholstered in opulent fabrics and extravagant colours. Her creations include a Victorian chaise covered in buttoned cerise silk (£1,000).

For spaces where a traditional three-seater just won’t fit, there are some lovely compact alternatives, including the pretty Classic Chaise Petite, from M&S (from £599; marksandspencer.com). For a little more cash, you could splash out on a chaise upholstered in natural linen, with carved, whitepainted legs (£950; from An Angel At My Table).

Should you want to blow the budget on a spectacular settee — and I’d go without refrigeration and HD TV for a year to acquire it — then it has to be Lavish, a mammoth chesterfield remix in crimson velvet by John Jenkins (£3,495; Heals).

Sometimes a piece of work comes along that begs the phrase – “always a pleasure, never a chore” and that was the case when recently I took and voice message that said “pasty we read your Kylie’s Pants article – and asked “can you knock up a few lines about lingerie and call it No Knickers?”

Knickers Off – Express Lingerie Removal

It turned out however that I misheard and the task was to share a few thoughts about Knickers and complile a feature on a blokes perspective on getting into them – or more accurately getting her into knickers – the icing on the lingerie cake – Know Knickers.

Some men enthuse about girls wearing no knickers but I’ve always been under the firm belief that a woman wearing a well chosen pair of knickers is like luxury gift wrap around a special present.

Watch this video to know your knickers:

At last spring has arrived and thoughts turn to hot sunny days, warm long evenings and of course fun filled holidays.

Now winter blues are truly behind us its time to check out the latest lingerie trends and discover the latest types of knickers on the market this summer.

With a bit of research you’ll find panties can be a lot sexier than you think, no longer are knickers confined to being plain briefs in black or white – this season’s underwear should be uplifting and happy whilst looking great and making you feel good.

Colour

Choose zesty bright yellow and orange colours that are bursting with vitality, or vivid fuchsia along with passionate hot reds for seductive style. Careful choice of ladies underwear and lingerie this summer and the colour of your knickers can add a feeling of joy and happiness each time you open your drawer to choose a pair of knickers from your underwear collection.

Fabric

The great news is that the look this summer is both chic and comfortable. This season’s hot pants are made from luxurious fabrics like cool fine cotton, sheer chiffon, sensual silks and satins trimmed with charming lace,

Patterned Knickers

A word of warning about patterns – be careful what you choose to wear where and when.

Spotty pants are fun for daytime wear but if the evening is going to be more sophisticated then consider changing into a more luxurious pair of knickers.

Lingerie in animal print patterns suit very few skin types are often thought of as common.

Panties with slogans written across the front might appeal as a fun purchase but look decidedly cheap when worn.

Many floral designs are available and you can enjoy wearing seasonal flowers – in Springtime for example you could have tulips pressed up against your cheeks or a Gladioli in your gusset.

Types of Knickers

Briefs – possible the most commonly worn knickers and give full coverage of both front and rear – but with some modification the humble brief can become a high fashion item of lingerie.

Hipsters

Hipster knickers are an even shorter type of boy shorts that cuts off above the thigh and are ideal for comfort when wearing hipster jeans.

Low rise hipsters give  the same coverage and are great for women who prefer a lower waist band.

Boy Shorts

Boy shorts reveal a little more at the back and are very popular now. Because they sit so low on the waist, boy shorts flatter the figure of women with short torsos and visually lengthen your torso.

French Knickers

Oh la la – French knickers – a sexy loose fitting knicker with similar coverage to the brief. Usually silk or satin – perfect for the bedroom – French knickers are comfortable and glamorous – a truly luxurious piece of lingerie.

French knickers come in a wide range of styles – frilly Burlesque, sheer retro vintage or classic traditional patterns, French knickers are highly popular as special occasion wear. Whatever your preference at least one pair of quality French Knickers is a must in any sexy womens lingerie collection.

Thongs and strings

Reports show a decline in the number of women wearing thongs and strings – there wick like qualities will not be missed during a sweltering summer and this summer it is expected there will be a rise in sales of tanga knickers.

Tanga Knickers

The tanga is a mixture of the brief and thong – offering full coverage of the rear with a narrow waistband – sometimes called Brazilian knickers – can be flattering and sensual whilst remaining comfortable throughout the day

Little Miss Prissy interviewed the Pasty Muncher for a blokes view of women’s underwear – she should have known better – Pasty concluded

MUNCH ON!

Not the first time a roving pasty muncher has picked up on stupid price promotion – see Supermarket Swizz – No Deal where our wandering eye spotted Tesco taking the little in  every little helps to the minimum of price cuts – a penny off a litre of whiskey and Sainsbury’s shelf edges announcing that the promotion price of a pack of Hobgoblin Ale was exactly the same as before – no change.

Somerfield have now taken a step futher in a bizarre ploy to confuse bargain hunters even more.  Possibly working on the premiss that if a price is enlarged on a shelf edge label then shoppers will assume it to be a bargain.  All Bottled Ales Priced at £1.69 (various sizes) now
£1.72.

Either the marketing people had done no research in the effect of adding 3p to the existing price or considered the 69 to be a bit of a mouthful.

Stethoscope Swizz

Its not just in supermarkets and on the high street buyers need beware – online retailers too can bowl the odd googly.

This panel form an online medical supply website was found during the peak season for stethoscope sales to the fresh intake of medicl school students somefound this disappointment when Discount Nurses announced their sale on leading models of stethoscopes.  One aspiring Doctor said “I’d read that Littmann Stethoscopes were amongst the best stethoscopes for medical professionals – what I wasn’t expecting was to see the prices increase before my very eye”

After further searching the same stethoscope was found on Amazon.com a little cheaper.  In the UK Amazon only appears stock stethoscope

Sometimes it all goes wrong

Who can’t forget the online giant Amazon closing its operations when it was notified that it was selling hand held Asus eee pcs for a fraction of the correct price £7.32 instead of £197!

Amazon has a book – image on right for those who want to read about many other crap jobs.
crap jobs

Just how crap are these crap jobs?

Some years ago I signed up for work with a Mystery Shopping Agency – Grass Roots (who coincidentally headed the list of Mystery Shopping UK Job Sites and was thrilled when an e mail arrived detailing my first assignment.

The jolly message was along the lines of “Your mission – if you were to accept – is to visit a branch of the [highstreet bank] and simply ask for information about opening an account. Pretty straightforward so far – money for old rope – so I pressed the accept link.

Then came the crap

Next day a bulky A4 envelope arrived packed with forms and detailed instructions. What was a simple job of popping into a bank for a couple of minutes had suddenly become a major review of the branches and its staff.

A strict script had to be adhered to and specific questions asked, the answers noted along with the names of who you had dealt with.

It Gets Worse – Double Trouble

Not only was the sheer volume of paperwork off putting but the job required visiting two branches in different villages. I planned to do them both in the same afternoon but imagine my surprise to find that rural branches don’t open through the week and only one could be visited on this occasion. I performed the duties as requested and completed the paperwork and checked the opening times of the second branch in order to return another day. Two days later I made my second journey and having had a dress rehearsal stepped into0 the bank and asked at the counter if I could talk to someone about opening a new account at the branch. “Yes of course Mr errr Muncher” replied the Tiller ” please take a seat and someone will be with you presently”

Identity crisis

When the solid wooden door opened and the same woman I had talked to early that week entered I almost evacuated my bowels – which would have been a truly crap job. She greeted me as though nothing was amiss but did apologetically and politely enquire if I had been at another branch previously. Such a professional.

“Nah – that’ll be my brother – thats why I’m here he was really excited about opening his first bank account. He said he was made to feel really important buy [highstreet bank] at [other village] but they aren’t open today”

“Thats right my team and I run both branches” she explained and we continued.

Anyhoos – the same questions and surprise surprise the same answers but it all still had to be recorded on the second job sheet.

After posting all the paperwork for both jobs I calculated the rate of pay. I spent a total of five hours traveling 40 miles, visiting the two branches and writing up reports and for this I received a cheque for twenty pounds. Now I’m no book keeper – accountancy jobs are for sandwich nibblers – but four pounds per hour less petrol is crap. I still receive occasional emails with the latest vacancies

Mystery Shopping – CRAP JOBS!

Tesco penny off a litre of Bells’ Whiskey

What a saving this is and well timed following the booze unfriendly budget. 1 whole new penny off £14.99 that’s a massive 0.06% saving – cheers Tesco – every little really does help.

Next we have Jamie O’s mates Sainsburys who risked shareholder wrath and had profit warning statements prepared when they decided to SLASH their multipacks of Hob Goblin’ Ale by nothing at all – nowt, zip, squat diddly.

Ever thrifty I checked the prices of available pasties online on Savebuckets –  UK’s latest price comparison shopping site but was disappointed to find they were only able to offer the Cornish Pasty from Wiltshire Farm Foods at £1 hmm not much comaprison there – hobsons choice I’d say.

Since I’d taken the trouble to visit Save Buckets I wondered what else can I check up on??

As a keen gardener with other green fingered chums imagine my delight to come across an entire category dedicated to alan titchmarsh gifts!

What next? Well my broadband internet contract is up for renewal so lets search for a better deal.  I’ve always been nervous that cheap packages from Tiscali and the like are a flase economy and thought it prudent to stay with bigger broadband providers such as BT. My internet search for “cheap broadband” actually displayed the BT Total Broadband packages which include their wireless wi fi broadband ”home hub” and for the moment a free digital tv recorder.

The best of both worlds – a trusted UK Broadband provider (BT) Free gifts and a choice of “Options” to suit my needs and budget.

Finally I couldn’t resist, the child in me searched for “wee” pis-smelling of nintendo’s Wii – hilarious.