Time was when a young ruffian sprayed aerosol car paint on someone elses property he was called a vandal and if caught felt the full force of the law in return for his mindless acts of wanton destruction.

These days however in the wake of Banksy and his chums kids and adults who should know better are expressing their feelings on the walls of buildings and structures – all in the name of art.

Street Art Comes to Life 3D – is it Banksy?

My only regret is that I didn’t waste a day of my life to visit the Banksy Vs Bristol Museum earlier so that a full expose of the shameful organisation and lack of exhibits could be reported sooner and hopefully save many others the trouble of discovering that Banksy Vs Bristol Museum is a crap exhibition.

Banksy Vs Bristol Museum

If the acceptance of  street art wasn’t enough the powers that be at Bristol Museum activley encouraged Banksy to show his work during the summer at what has to be awarded the honour of  “Banksy at Bristol Museum – Possibly the Worst Exhibition – Ever”.

In an event titled Banksy Vs Bristol Museum which wrongly suggests that hooligans had infiltrated the otherwise conservative city museum and managed to disruptively sneak in an assortment of thought provoking, inspirational, hilarious exhibits amongst the regular display.

Although the BBC reported the secret stunt (cunning stunt) the illusion that the renegade street artist had broken into the establishment of the  Bristol Museum is a pathetic attempt at adding a certain irony to the event.

Bristol Museum – Banksy – Crap Exhibition

The people of Bristol must be incandescent with rage at the utter failure of the staging of this crap exhibition of Banksy in a dreadfully inadequate venue.  It could be that the organiniers primary aim was to get more footfall in the Museum – hosting a small selection of Banksy art it was merely a roose to get mugs to wander around a stale exhibition space and look at the museum’s regular exhibits whilst trying to “discover” what jolly jape the Banksy prankster had included amongst them.

What do you actually get to see?

Even when you discover the rogue works you have little chance of fully viewing the works due to the crowds waving a sea of digital cameras in front of the exhibits.

Bristol Museum Opening Times

With no regard to the immense popularity of the exhibition the Bristol Museum resolved to keep its normal opening hours – a lazy 10:00 am start closing at a respectable 17:00 – plenty of time to change out of uniform and be home ready for the 6 O’clock news

The only effective demonstration of the museum to handle the volume of visitors was shown at 16:00 when attendants began to close sections of the museum in order to completely evacuate and shut the doors promptly at 5pm

Conclusion – don’t go there – visit a real cultural event such as a day trip to Trago Mills and watch the following videos:

Videos of Banksy Art Work

Banksy vs Bristol Museum from Butterfly on Vimeo.

BANKSY ART EXHIBITION – DISAPPOINTING!

Twitter it seems is a melange of blogging, facebook and text messaging whereby those full of their own self importance can give regular updates about their amazing lives for all to share. Twitting is refered to as microblogging – now theres a fluffy way of saying lazy word shy bluggers.  Who’d have thought anyone would be able to express themselves in 14o character bursts.  More to the point who would subscribe to these snippets of drivel?

Amongst the top twitters to follow are Stephen Fry and Jonathon Ross – two unlikely bedfellows. Stephen Fry is undoubtabley one of Britains finest gentlemen – urbane, educated, witty and charming.  Tossy however is merely a potty mouthed sycophantic oik who used to be entertaining but developed a speech impediment due to build up of boot polish on his tongue. Harsh perhaps but I offer further insight into the , smug and crass tv personality courtesy of the Daily Telegraph who report that:

Jonathon Ross is a sleazy, self-indulgent, foul-mouthed, middle-aged doppelgänger of a man who had the potential to be one of our most brilliant broadcasters and worth every penny of £18 million. Now it is as if he feels he must compete with the worst excesses of Julian Clary and Graham Norton; he leaves viewers feeling grubby at best, and sickened at worst.

By following a twit you get to read each and every mundane activity the twitterer thinks is noteworthy this morning I noticed that Wossy signed off -

1. I am going to take a nap. Twitter exhaustion. about 9 hours ago from TwitterFon

If only he opted for retirement – from being an exhausting twat.

Benefits of Twitter

I can understand the interest in some of these diaries – hopefully it will see the end to half baked nobodies publishing autobiographies within a year of achieving some sort of dubious celebrity status.

Call to action on climate change

I’m no stranger to social networking – you can find pasty muncher on Linkedin, and fundraising pages (remember the sponsored fart for the heart?) – see the current climate change page which has yet to see any charity donation be made.  Perhaps this is the key to Twitter – with a good following and a smart fundraising idea it could be a lucrative source of getting sponsorship and donations.

Why ask for charity donations?

Following the previous post welcoming global warming I saw this climate change video and did a tad more reasearch which revealed that sceptisism, consiracy theory and frivolity are all very well but climate change is really happening and its happening now.

Will you see Pasty Muncher on Twitter?

Well its tempting to play with scocial media sites – enormous fun having a profile and many friends on facebook but sadly http://twitter.com/pastymuncher is already taken – and following Stephen Fry – should I compromise..?

Maybe there will be a better version of Twitter developed soon – Muncher

January is time for taking back.

Even though reports of poor sales on the run up to Christmas many people still found it in their hearts to hunt down “a little something”

I speak personally as one who has indeed stood in desperate isolation, bewildered by the queues in the claustrophobic environment of Christmas shopping emporiums fearing the catastrophe of NOT giving a carefully chosen Christmas gift.

I have been very busy rushing around gathering receipts and returning unwanted/faulty presents before the shop goes into administration – close call on Woolworths and don’t delay Debenhams could soon follow so get them goods back pronto.

But why panic? The perfect gift that’s sure to please – a Gift Voucher

Here I’d like to write in the style of the forced thank you letter that had to be written to generous family members who for fear that you might explode with over excitement opening all the presents on Christmas morning sent thoughtful gift vouchers for Boots or WH Smith.  There’s no reason this letter couldn’t be done as a round robin – a one size fits all – just delete as applicable

Dear Distant Relative,

Thank you very much for your kind gift that you sent.  I expect I will get enormous fun/pleasure/educational benefit from using the gift vouchers.  I am waiting for the January Sales where I hope to pick up some bargains.  I am particulary interested in getting one of those resperate devices that claim to lower blood pressure naturally simply by listening to music.  Of course in order to check if the Resperate method works I’d also need to buy a blood pressure monitor to to make regular checks.  I have been saving up and I see that there is a cheap model in the Sales – the Lloyds blood pressure monitor – which is almost within grasp if I don’t waste my pocket money on sweets or unecessary pasties for the next two weeks.

Well Chrimble is over and it’s back to school soon. Thank heavens the only present buying coming up will be for Valentine Day – traditionally a day for the ladies but as  noted on this National Days post there’s an opportunity to reward the bloke too!

Oh – a belated Happy New Year from the Pasty Muncher – Munching onwards and upwards!

2009 – Liverpool’s claim to be the European City of Culture coincides with the 100th anniversary of Woolworths opening their first UK shop in the City.

Famous for its shoplifting appeal to school children who quickly realised thy could stretch their pocket money further by visiting the high street shop en mass and picking up a selection of toys, pens and of course pick ‘n’ mix but failing to pay has a left Woolworths a very special place in many peoples hearts but shopping trends change and it looks like times up for Woolworth.

In a recent poll the majority of 14 – 25 year-old said they found Woolworth to be on the whole “a crap shop” but may have visited in the past six months to pick up a greetings card or even happiness.

Woolworth Closing Down But Still Recruiting

The Wonder of Woolies

Although the website www.woolworths.co.uk has been up and down like a brides nightie it was with some pity that the continued presence of the Careers at Woolworths page which announces “Your journey start here” and continues to entice Woolies Wanabees telling them that it is through thier “unique team spirit that has led us to becoming one of the UK’s market leaders”.

The news that jobs are available in Liverpool will bring some releif to those who fear redundancy elsewhere in the City. Land Rover continue to retain their staff but have further extended their closure period and it is yet to be revealed if the production of the new Freelander will commence on schedule for sales to begin in April 2009. At least the Land Rover Careers page accurately reflects the current state of their recruitment Land Rover Misc Error – We are sorry — this page was not found on LandRover.com

Woolworths are even crap at closing down.

Woolworths called in city financiers Delloitte to offer rescue solutions but with national banks and corporate treasury systems in turmoil no reasonable offers were forthcoming.  The answer – a Massive Closing Down Sale.

UK shoppers have become blase to “closing down sales” but Woolworths hit the headlines when it announced that all 850 shops would be clearing their stock.  Even the most sceptical couldn’t resist the chance of a bargain.  Will we never learn.

“Not well worth it” – said Mr Ian Macfarlane – an exhausted Exeter shopper on returning from a lunchtime spent queuing having been lured into this unlikely retail zone by the closing down sale news reports and misleading up to 50% off signs.

Remember the old adage – one disappointed customer will complain to a hundred others.

As Brandmaster commented  I know what I would be looking to buy at the fire-sale

Halloween – the day of the long awaited office move….

Having endured the nuisance of packing up a few bits and bobs the previous day and unplugging various cables and computer bits whilst suffering the allergic reaction to the dust disturbed after many months of dodging the cleaner’s tools the office move was on course for  Halloween – Friday 31st October. Pickfords, the removal company selected for this important task, had left instruction about packing and labelling the cases to facilitate an efficient office move which was assumed to be done during the evening in order for crates and equipment to be in position the next day for connection and continuing work – however this was not the case.

Removal Company Arrives Late

The day begins with the surprising realisation that not only had nothing been moved since close of business the previous day but the Pickfords “Crap Removal” team turned up sometime after 9am – over an hour late.

Close inspection of the Pickfords removal van failed to reveal a new strap line -  “Why arrive early when you can still get paid for a crap removal job by turning up when you feel like it?”

Crap removal company Pickfords were amongst several removal companies who have been assisted to stop them from going under during the current housing downturn.

You’d have thought that some degree of pride in the service they provide would be in order instead of the classic British workman attitude.The office manager was sure that every effort would be made to “crack on” and get the new office up and running as quickly as possible. How very wrong…

Slowly Slowly that’s the Pickfords Removal Way

Unaware they were in earshot, following a request that they prioritise certain items for immediate and urgent removal one of the Pickfords gang was observed shaking his head and telling his team “That’s not how it works,  she’ll have to learn…” followed by the mob agreeing and trying to out do each other with promises of just how awkward they could be.

First in the door was the Boardroom table and chairs, Plastic plants, framed pictures, stationery supplies, nine water bottle refills but no water cooler.  Clearly this removal company were “on side” as they watched all the staff standing around desks with no chairs or computers to sit and work at.

Following a full hour for lunch the Pickfords team re-appeared and the first glimpse of essential equipment was seen.  We’re still unsure if the sight of a pc unit and two monitors precariously balance on an office chair being wheeled across the space was a hilarious wind up to reinforce the gaffers exclamation that they were “fully trained professionals” and knew what they were doing.  Someone remembered the instructions we received that computers should be left on the desk for proper specialist packing and transportation during removal.

It seems they fair just as badly in domestic home moves although it is possible that the favourable reviews of Pickfords removals “it took three men to remove my drawers” are actually contributed by

In conclusion it was agreed that the whole exercise was a shoddy job.  heaven knows what the cost was – the office manager keeps such things close to the chest – and it would ahve been illuminating to see the responses on Pickfords customer feed back questionnaire – which had conveniently been deleted…
In my opinion – Pickfords failed to impress and deserve the award of CRAP REMOVAL COMPANY.

Banks are CRAP

Here’s my experience of a crap bank – Nat West – feel free to share yours – add your twopennyworth to the comments at the end.

It takes little to please me – give me a fresh-from-the-oven Pasty at lunchtime with flaked pastry and proper filling served quickly and politely and that’s me happy well in to the afternoon.  What I don’t want to spend my lunchtime doing is standing in a twenty deep queue waiting to be served by one of three cashiers at NatWest only to find that when my turn eventually comes around they are unable to process an electronic money transfer to an RBS (same group of bankers) and tell me to join another long queue for the “information” team who should be able to fulfil my request but for a fee!

Now I wouldn’t want to promote the theory I always view things from a negative aspect – yes I have written at length about crap jobs and am want to highlight crap supermarket price offers but my recent experiences with Crap Bank NatWest forces me to once again wag a finger.

Natwest Lose Cheques – Sure Sign of a Crap Bank

Earlier this year I had the good fortuned to receive a cheque payable in US dollars from the small online store Amazon.  It has continually been a frustration that all UK banks charge an extortionate fee to process these foreign currency cheques claiming they are risking the liability of the cheque not being honoured once sent back to the States for clearance – highly possible with fly by night set online setups such as Amazon.  NatWest somehow manage not to notice the huge written message to emphasise the $ sign and my statement revealed the the sterling value had been credited instead of the exchange rate.  Two daysl later the transaction was reversed but there was no sign of the correct value entering my statement.  Phone calls were dealt with by empty promises of “we’ll call you back”and for the first time I had to endure the Natwest Branch Queue – a chilling experience to be surrounded by posters and displays offering a variety of credit cards including a new product that beggars belief 0% credit cards (check the small print) and mesmerising deals to encourage balance transfers.  To cut this rambling tale to the chase natwest lost the cheque and although they obviously acknowledge possession of it were unable to make good their failings leaving me to request a copy cheque

Crap Bank – NatWest

At the beginning of this post you will have read about the unacceptable length of queues at NatWest bank and the woeful short staffing only serving to make the whole high street bank experience worse.  “There is another way” Sure – close your NatWest Account.

If only I had gone to the branch armed with the following news articles that announced the implementation of fast (same day) cash transfers between banks http://news.icm.ac.uk/business/faster-bank-transfers-start-today/482/ and http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7417303.stm

As I was less than impressed that  I was expected to rejoin another long queue and then be expected to pay a fee for an electronic transfer I protested and to give credit where its due the young fellow behind the counter did offer “Another Way” – “Err you can withdraw the cash here from me then wander over to RBS and pay it in” which is precisely what I did.

Perhaps these are small contributions to the bigger picture of banking chaos – the crap banks have had it good for a long time – getting away with daylight robbery and lining their pockets.