Crap Jobs - Mystery Shopping

Over on Money Saving Expert there is a huge thread about mystery shopping that begins with a very helpful introduction to the various agencies that offer crap jobs to perform undercover tasks along with easy to follow information about the implications of becoming self employed - with simple details about calculating profits made on payments for each job done and income tax rules and regulations.

Amazon has a book - image on right for those who want to read about many other crap jobs.
crap jobs

Just how crap are these crap jobs?

Some years ago I signed up for work with a Mystery Shopping Agency - Grass Roots (who coincidentally headed the list of Mystery Shopping UK Job Sites and was thrilled when an e mail arrived detailing my first assignment.

The jolly message was along the lines of “Your mission - if you were to accept - is to visit a branch of the [highstreet bank] and simply ask for information about opening an account. Pretty straightforward so far - money for old rope - so I pressed the accept link.

Then came the crap

Next day a bulky A4 envelope arrived packed with forms and detailed instructions. What was a simple job of popping into a bank for a couple of minutes had suddenly become a major review of the branches and its staff.

A strict script had to be adhered to and specific questions asked, the answers noted along with the names of who you had dealt with.

It Gets Worse - Double Trouble

Not only was the sheer volume of paperwork off putting but the job required visiting two branches in different villages. I planned to do them both in the same afternoon but imagine my surprise to find that rural branches don’t open through the week and only one could be visited on this occasion. I performed the duties as requested and completed the paperwork and checked the opening times of the second branch in order to return another day. Two days later I made my second journey and having had a dress rehearsal stepped into0 the bank and asked at the counter if I could talk to someone about opening a new account at the branch. “Yes of course Mr errr Muncher” replied the Tiller ” please take a seat and someone will be with you presently”

Identity crisis

When the solid wooden door opened and the same woman I had talked to early that week entered I almost evacuated my bowels - which would have been a truly crap job. She greeted me as though nothing was amiss but did apologetically and politely enquire if I had been at another branch previously. Such a professional.

“Nah - that’ll be my brother - thats why I’m here he was really excited about opening his first bank account. He said he was made to feel really important buy [highstreet bank] at [other village] but they aren’t open today”

“Thats right my team and I run both branches” she explained and we continued.

Anyhoos - the same questions and surprise surprise the same answers but it all still had to be recorded on the second job sheet.

After posting all the paperwork for both jobs I calculated the rate of pay. I spent a total of five hours traveling 40 miles, visiting the two branches and writing up reports and for this I received a cheque for twenty pounds. Now I’m no book keeper - accountancy jobs are for sandwich nibblers - but four pounds per hour less petrol is crap. I still receive occasional emails with the latest vacancies

Mystery Shopping - CRAP JOBS!

After enjoying the elderflower champagne made earlier in the month and reading the appreciative comments it attracted I was reminded of another elderflower drink that is just as easy to make and a lot more stable - elderflower cordial.

Rummaging through my “brewing bag of tricks”which has been sadly neglected over the past couple of years I was delighted to find this hand written sheet, given to me by my Homebrew Guru, Richard Burns - Proprietor of Cheers Winemaking and Brewing Sutton, which gives the method used and lists ingredients for making elderflower cordial.

By mid June any remaining elderflowers were due to quickly disappear and a forecast of poor weather meant time was of the essence to gather the required number of elderflower heads and a furtive trip around the hedgerows of Bovey Tracey delivered the

For this recipe it suggests:

• 20 - 30 Elderflower Heads - (snip off heavy green stalks)
• 3 pints cold water
• 2 ½ to 3 lb sugar (depending on your taste)
• 50 grams Tartaric Acid
• 1 0r 2 lemons thinly sliced

Three steps to make elderflower cordial

1. Mix all together in plastic bucket
2. Leave 24 to 48 hours stirring now and then
3. Strain into bottles

The cordial is ready to use immediately but will freeze in suitable containers.

What I love about this recipe is the vague quantities and the apologies for hand writing that is typical of Richard.

CHEERS!

As reported on Teapots Teapots Teapots one of Devon’s better tourist attractions the Cardew Pottery is closing.

The Cardew Pottery in Bovey Tracey closed its doors to visitors on 12th June and production of their specialty teapots has stopped.

Teapot classics such as the Petrol Pump, Betty Boop, the extensive range of Disney characters and the inspirational British food range including Coleman’s Mustard and the Marmite Teapot could now become highly collectible items and begin to fetch eye watering sums at auction.

Owner Paul Cardew reports on his website “Whilst it’s very emotional here, as we clear things out and sort through the back catalogue, the plans for the future are really exciting. We are not yet in a position to announce the next phase of the adventure but keep checking back to this website, where we soon hope to be able to let you know the way forward”

“not yet in a position to announce the next phase” could be interpreted “cannot be arsed since we’ve made a fortune by selling the land for housing”

Residents of Bovey Tracey have wondered for some time where the proposed new housing development will be and there is an increasing feeling of resentment that the Cardew Pottery which sits in 10 Acres of what was once beautiful woodland with ponds is prime suspect.

Cardew was enjoyed by both tourists and locals alike - how many other tourist “attractions” can genuinely make claim to that? The pottery painting studio was well equipped and good value when compared to ventures such as China Blue in “we saw you coming” Totnes.

Alas no more the “Sunday Lunch Specials - Served Daily” and what we wonder will become of the Cardew Cat (Chairman Meow) that would sleep around the shop and studio always accommodate a little fuss - come on Paul - think of the Puss Cat!

The coming weekend holds two excellent event in store.

Firstly the Devon Craft Fair at Bovey Tracey which runs 6th to 8th June and promises to be the best ever.

At the other end of the outdoor events spectrum is the annual Land Rover World Show held at the “home of Landrovers” Eastnor Castle, Herefordshire. As a wanna be country bumpkin my interest in Land Rovers has grown over the last few months ever since I heard the news that the great British brand was now under the ownership of Tata - an Indian conglomerate. Keen to support Landrover and protect its British heritage I was amongst many who campaigned to have the sale revoked and return the company to its previous owners. Ahem imagine the surprise when this was revealed to be Ford.

None the less land Rover have been at the leading edge of all terrain motoring and having watched videos such as this Freelander promotion and this amazing footage of Land Rover Defenders going full throttle I’ve had the urged to try one.

I joined two fellow Pasty Munchers - for a half day at the West Country Land Rover Experience Centre in Honiton. Apart from arriving late - oh the perils of forward FWD e mails - the afternoon was a revalation. The advanced technology some of the vehicles contain is way over my head and it was with relief that the “intro” talk was cut short so we could actually get our feet on the pedals.

First up a £75,000 Range Rover. Yeah not bad. The traction control on hills and slopes was - and I don’t say this lightly - mind blowing. Tilted at 35 degrees it was beyond belief the the monster didn’t roll.

Then followed what was affectionately called by those in the know a tootle in a “Disco” aka Land Rover Discovery. After the drive in a top notch Range Rover this seemed less impressive - still the same all terrain settings technology but felt a bit more “Sloaney” - in that it looks more countryside but without the mud.

Both the Range Rover and Discovery are excellent off roaders but almost too easy to drive - the technology kicks in at the drop of a hat - pedal free driving for much of the course.

later the instructor introduced his personal favourite the Freelander. The Freelander has had its criticisms over the years but it appears that Land Rover have listened to the concerns of dis-gruntled customers and worked hard to bring the model up to the same high standards expected of the brand. And what a joy the little SUV was. Within a few minutes the feeling of actually driving returned. The Independent commented “the new Freelander is proof that land rovers just keep getting better” and safety concerns assuaged but Euroncaps official 5 star ratings for many Freelander features for protection.

The Landrover World Show offers the opportunity to try out these vehicles in return for a modest donation to various charities. All test drives are accompanied by Land Rover experts and will be conducted on some of the best “off road” circuits in Europe.

Following yesterday’s high drama - Exeter City Centre Closed due to Bomb and the revelation that the incident involved “errm… some chemicals and a couple of nails” the Exeter business community is still counting the cost of evacuating almost a square mile of office and retail spaces - effectively making them shut up shop for the remainder of the day resulting in the local economy losing squillions in time and revenue.

According to this report on This Isn’t Exeter: Mentalist Bomber Named “The bomb can’t have been that powerful either, as when police arrived on scene he was still locked in the cubical, refusing to come out. It hadn’t even blown the bloody door off.”

F U D - Fear Uncertainty and Doubt

The report of further bombs in and around Exeter has driven some business owners to re-evaluate their own security systems. In a well known supermarket even the joints of meat were under scrutiny and offered full protection:

Security Protect Everything

Bomb squad officers in land rovers can still be seen touring Exeter keeping a vigilant eye out for further “copy cat” attempts - in Devon where lamb is under threat so be the pork.

Some commenters are quick to point out the benefits of the recent “explosion” in that the glorified take-away burger and chippie Giraffe will be closed for some time for further investigation. A spokesperson from adjacent Estate Agents “Wilf and Gnats” said “We’ve been on and on about the terrible greasy smells that waft into our offices from Giraffe for some time now. This is a result for all decent clean air breathers - I know we shouldn’t encourage further acts of disruption but I know quite a few around here that wouldn’t be too sorry to see Nandos fry-up chicken operation shut for a while”.

The UK’s “longest” day - Summer Solstice on 21st June is still a full month away but already the combination of warmer night time temperatures, chirpy chirpy cheep cheep bird songs and early morning sunshine is beginning to take its toll on sleep.

It clearly isn’t sufficient to splash out on some luxurious stylish bedding duvet covers - see I want Kylie at home but now I need to study the various types of curtains that will block the light from penetrating into the bedroom, reduce the noise coming in and add privacy - there’s a bloke across the way who spends a little too much time looking in our direction….but that’s not for here.

Other than the “feel like a set of curtains” joke I know nothing about home fabrics and their use in window furnishing. Furthermore following a quick scan on the web I doubt I’ll ever get to appreciate the finer points of “dressing” your windows with ready made voiles and choosing appropriate holdbacks, tassels or tiebacks.

Pull yourself together. There are a couple of reasonable articles “out there” that aren’t simply trying to sell products of worse scrimp a couple of bob from Adsense and with a little patience and application the task ahead doesn’t seem too daunting.

Ready made curtains or make your own.

Threadheads offered this video how to DIY your curtains but lets face it this is best left for them that know one end of a needle from the other so ready-made they shall be. Simple so far so Jade Goody.

Track, rails or curtain poles

Once measured and ordered you then have to decide which method of hanging is suitable. Although even well fitted curtain poles look stylish they will often leave a gap between wall and fabric so the pesky noise and light gets through in the early morning whereas curtain tracks and rails allow the fabric to almost stick to the wall practically creating a blackout effect if the fabric is right.